i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
