you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
