ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
