Swine flu. Run for my life!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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