Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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