It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I enjoy the company of your penis
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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