...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
