You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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