am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
