He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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