did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
