How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I want her autograph on my taint
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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