Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
