Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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