being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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