And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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