is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
