bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
