I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Randomize
