the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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