can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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