went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
