i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
