you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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