He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
