You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
