I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
