your thong is hanging out like whoa
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
3 2 1 whiskey
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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