did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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