i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
