ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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