Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
