He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i think my cat just said my name.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
