What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
