And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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