the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
