It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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