Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
