Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
