We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
