Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
