Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
