It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Please, let me fuck your mom
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
the liver wants what the liver wants
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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