Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
