I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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