Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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