im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
