You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
why do cheetos always look like penises
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
