holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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