I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
