Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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